this might be TMI but the results are in...

so this is the official explanation of what caused my passing out and subsequent trip to the ER.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micturation_syncope

let the old man jokes begin.

that is all.

screaming heart? more like a broken one. and not in the emo sort of way... (edited)

so this weekend was somewhat unusual to say the least. i played guitar for the awake women's conference @ occ on friday and saturday. nothing too crazy about that. just me and a couple hundred women. no big deal. seriously. worship was great. everyone did a superb job.

later that evening i watched an old clint eastwood flick with the roomies. the outlaw josey wales will change your life forever. no, not really. i probably would have fallen asleep if it was for a call from nature. apparently my bladder was full. tmi? sorry. this is a blog about my body and it's failings. everybody pees. that's the worst of it. read on.

so i get up and run to my bathroom up stairs. i go. as i finish my brain alerts me to something odd in my chest. my heart was pounding harder than i knew was possible. each pump felt like it was gonna knock me over. feeling the oncoming rush of sensory overload i lean against the wall to my left. "this isn't good."

-blackout-

"guh!"

i don't remember falling but i do remember the sensation of my lower back smashing over the edge of the tub behind me and my head hitting the built-in shelf. i half-way remember yelling as my breath was forced out of my lungs from the impact. felt like days had passed in a second and at the same time like i was frozen in time.

-back to black-

bzzzzzzzzzzzz...

as i started to come to my body was buzzing with the sensory overload i sensed was coming earlier. not sure if it was from hitting my head or my back or if my heart and my brain were in cahoots against me. it felt like i was on fire, drowning, paralyzed, and being electrocuted by microscopic icicles all over my body. dramatic? ok, a little. maybe not drowning or totally paralyzed but definitely felt cold, electrified-heat all over.

i remember the core of me fighting to get up. my lower back bent over the tub wall. my shoulder blades driven into the tub floor like fence posts. my head pinned up against the inside of the other tub wall. chin on my chest, arms flailing, the icy-hot-electricity starts to subside and i'm finally able to pull myself up. i oh-so-carefully get myself downstairs and sit down. bob and ruth look at me.

"u ok?"

"i think i fell and hit my head. not sure what's going on right now."

"u wanna go get checked out?"

"um, gimme a minute."

"k. u look super white."

"do i? i'm sweating like crazy. maybe i should go in."

"ok."

a few moments later we're on our way. phoning the parents and friends was handled by ruth. driving was handled by bob. i tried to not throw up. we went three for three. good job team.

checked into the ER. doctors, nurses, pregnant women, various staffers, and a strung out druggy all going about their business. some needing help. others helping. good stuff.

i think my initial bp was something like 189 over 89 with a pulse of 107 or something crazy like that. so i get hooked up to the heart monitors and get a cat scan and all of that good stuff.

they gave me a power size I.V. with a free anti-nausea boost. man, a jamba juice sounds good right now. anyway, i sucked that down in no time flat. a few good, close friends show up. that was sweet. a couple hours later the doc says i'm good to go. no concussion, no obvious heart damage, and he promised me that the chest hair they had to shave away for the heart monitors would grow back. he was right about the hair at least.

so just over three hours after my heart freaked out i was released from the hospital. i popped an aleve with i got home and slept like a baby.

thanks to everyone who helped out in various ways: to jake for leading sunday morning, to my ER friends and roomies for staying with me despite the fact that you all had to get up super early and were gonna lose an hour of sleep due to DST, to those of you who prayed, to God for listening to those prayers and keeping me alive.

my head and back are still killing me and i've gotta go see my doc about my heart. i'll keep y'all updated as things progress.

life is crazy huh? time to go play in the snow...

be well,

-k

i say catch up, you say ketchup, let's call the whole thing off?

my my how things have changed.

so far 2009 has been a crazy mess.

and by crazy mess i mean some of the most exciting times in my entire life.

i am a full-time worship pastor now at overlake christian church.

i am no longer a costco employee.

i am writing again.

i have a schedule that allows me to have a real life.

God is doing some cool stuff.

the people He's surrounded me with are the most amazing, loving, generous, gracious, and good smelling people i've ever known.

life is so good.

after nearly 8 years of volunteering, interning, and part-timing as a worship leader for the student ministries i was hired on full-time as the student ministries worship pastor this past january.

praise God!

i love it.

i'm learning heaps as i get stretched to point of absolute exhaustion.

what a blessing.

almost made it two whole years working at the kirkland costco.

almost.

great company.

even greater people.

i'm definitely gonna miss 'em.

looking back through my journals and what i realized that i haven't finished writing a song since late 2007.

i was writing off and on throughout 2008 but never got stuff nailed down to point of being able to record or use it in a service.

what little recording i did was of stuff already written.

shame.

but that dry period is over.

in the last few weeks i've been able to sit down and think and read and write and think some more.

i've been listening to a lot of stuff too.

both old and new.

can't wait to get stuff finished up and recorded.

i'll definitely keep you posted.

my schedule is beautiful.

when i was at costco i would work (mostly) evenings, thursday through monday.

sunday was a marathon day for me.

up at 5am, head to church, rock out till 12:30ish, head to costco at 2pm, work my butt of until 8:30pm.

killer.

tuesday & wednesday were my "weekend" from costco but both afternoons and evenings were spent at church rocking out again.

no rest for the wicked...?

but now i work sunday through wednesday and, if i feel like it, sometimes thursdays.

that's right.

for those of you following along i've gone from essentially working seven days a week down to just four.

praise God!

now i have time to do the things i have been dying to do.

hang with friends, paint, read, write, record, practice, et cetera...

praise God from whom all blessings flow.

be well friends,

k

p.s.

i tweet here.

new songs...

i finally got to spend some time with my guitar and God, paper and pen.

super stoked about what came of it.

gonna go record it a little later today.

be well friends,

been a long time... again.

hey friends,

got some news.

still working on my stuff ever so slowly.

patience is hard.

i wish i could just crack open my skull and let it all the sweet goodness come out or plug a cable into my ear and push play.

oh if things were only so easy...

a very good friend of mine has just released his newest project.

overlake: homecoming is available at here.

click on media --> music and buy one for everyone you know.

i was fortunate enough to play guitars on a couple tracks.

jesse, i tip my hat to you on a job well done. 

the album sounds majestic.

truly beautiful.

i look forward to many more years of ministry and rock'n'roll with you.

i am blessed.

-k

boom kettles...

this saturday with be a trial by fire for two of us.

my good friend luke with be recording drums for the project.

i've never recorded drums before.

should be a hoot.

and in other news...

i've been doing physical therapy for my knee for two weeks now.

it is awesome.

massages, stretches, exercises, lifts, electric stimulation, ice, pain, suffering, moaning, joy, sweat, tears, all in about an hour.

it is good.

still working on the project.

haven't been blogging about it enough.

sorry.

loves,

k

a bump in the road... or how to avoid bending back your fingernail(s).

last sunday at church i was moving stuff around on stage to prepare for a little drama.

in my attempt to free up the much needed stage space i made a near fatal error.

ok, maybe calling it fatal would be a bit extreme but when it comes to having fulling functioning appendages i like to play it on the safe side.

i reached down to move my monitor and somehow managed to catch my left hand middle finger's nail on an edge of some rather unforgiving rubber. 

it was quick.

it was painful.

it bled a lot.

this is what it looked like on tuesday...

yeah.

half of it is fine.

the other half is now trimmed back a quarter of an inch from where it used to naturally.

bummer.

so friends my advice to you on this wonderful saturday evening is beware of stage monitors.

they're heavy.

they don't like being pushed around.

if you're ever in a confrontation with one it's best to not make eye contact and flee the scene. 

if escape is not an option grab an axe.

if an axe is not present try soiling yourself and hope that the monitor will move on.

i will have my revenge on the monitor though.

i just took the first step in procuring myself a wireless in-ear monitor setup.

i ebayed myself a brand spanking new set of Shure SCL5's.

the next and final step will be to get the wireless package.

that's right yamaha stage monitor.

you're out.

in-ears are in.

now i'm gonna check and see if i can still play guitar.

be well and well rested my friends.

k

wind and rain... tall and proud...

i love the rain.

next time it's raining i suggest you stop what you're doing, go sit, watch and listen to it.

or run outside and play in it.

it's beautiful and powerful.

just a thought.

i love hearing the wind push trees around.

pushing leaves out of the way.

hearing old trees moan and crack, straining under the extra weight being added to it makes me feel small and young.

not so much because the trees are old or weak or because they tower above my 6'2" frame but because there's something bigger, stronger than they are. 

the sky.

the immense groupings of seemingly infinite air molecules being forced around in such a way that causes us to run for cover.

we hide in houses, under our beds, reach for something or someone for comfort.

the trees just stand there, tall and proud, taking punishing blow, one after another.

and here i am worried about keeping my budget, keeping my house clean, getting my music recorded, meeting and making friends, keeping clean, keeping safe, keeping my stuff, getting new stuff, selling old stuff, making sure my needs are met, satisfying my desires, keeping others at bay, steering clear of disaster, standing tall, appearing proud, staying humble, walking closer to God, meeting a girl, making her mine, finding and following the right career path, which guitar to use for which part on which song, sounding clever when i'm not, choosing my battles, fighting the war, speaking truth, telling another lie, dying, living, crashing hard drives, breaking strings, dropping picks, singing out of tune, getting back in good shape, staying in shape, eating right, knee pain, back pain, attention deficit disorder, manic depression, love, family, friends, getting enough sleep, salvation, evangelism, sarcasm, reading, writing, speaking without a stutter, over communicating, under communicating, breaking up, coming together, growing old, staying young, being cool,breaking even, coming out ahead, sound investments, getting to work, getting home, dead batteries, no service, serving like Christ, doubting like thomas, believing like him, studying enough, studying on time, taking the tests, passing the tests, meeting your needs, exhorting like paul, teaching, leading, failing, success.  

and there's a tree taking a beating outside, getting pounded by all the wind and rain nature can throw at it...

but there it still stands, either brave or fearing the end is near, tall and proud.

does it know that eventually the storm will end?

does it know that another will follow?

just a thought.

now to bed,

kaf

"It's A Beautiful Day"

So I got up really early this morning to get ready for church. Earlier than normal. Like pre-dawn early. Like 4:45 am early. I woke up before my alarm went off. Wide awake I just laid there until the music came on. "I'm trying to make you sing..." sings David Crowder and his band. What a beautiful day it's gonna be, I thought. Oh I had no idea. I got ready, packed up, and headed out. Right away on my drive in I noticed some new colors in the sky. As I drove I got blown away. God painted absolutely the most beautiful picture of a sunrise in the sky. Oranges and golds setting clouds on fire reds, burning out into blues and purples ashes if clouds. I wish I had my real camera. Better yet a brush and canvas. Although there's no way i could come close to painting anything so beautiful. All I had was this [lousy] iPhone camera. So here ya go...

 

Kids don't take pictures and drive. You're probably not good enough with a camera to nor are you a skilled enough driver. Doing both at the same time would be stupid. And illegal in most places. Also while I'm handing out free advice I should say don't drink and drive either either. It's also stupid and illegal. Don't be stupid or illegal. That is all.

"It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away."

Blogged from my super white iPhone.

Posted with LifeCast

it's already been too long...

so i haven't been good about keeping this blog up to date but that doesn't mean that i haven't been a busy little boy working on the recording project.

i've been plugging away at things.

in fact, after i laid down a scratch track for another yet to be named track i just kept on recording and wrote a whole new song.

felt good.

i can't wait to work on it more.

it was raw.

it was honest.

it was fresh.

i can't tell you how much i'm enjoying myself right now.

so much fun.

i hope you are all alive and well.